AI home roasts with an actual point

Your house asked for this.

Upload a room. Roasted.ai delivers a funny, brutally specific critique—then tells you how to make the place look better without pretending every fix needs a renovation show budget.

Start with one photo for free. No renovation required.

Roasted.ai home roast preview

Preliminary verdict

“Your kitchen is emotionally committed to 2014.”

Best first fix: swap the pendants and hardware.

The Roasted.ai promise

Funny first. Useful before you leave.

01

Your tone, your call

02

A real improvement with every roast

03

No invented expert credentials

From evidence to intervention

Four steps. Minimal dignity.

The joke gets attention. The specific, budget-aware advice makes the result worth keeping.

01

Upload the evidence

Add a room photo for a quick verdict, or upload several angles for a fuller critique.

02

Pick your pain level

Choose Destroy Me, Funny But Fair, Roast It + Fix It, or Make It Look More Expensive.

03

Get the useful punchline

Receive a score, a specific roast, and practical improvements prioritized around your budget.

04

Share the damage

Turn your result into a ready-to-post card and challenge friends to put their own rooms on trial.

A roast with receipts

“This basement has the lighting of an interrogation room and the furniture plan of a yard sale.”

The low-cost fix

Add two warm floor lamps, move seating off the walls, and anchor it with one properly sized rug.

The shareable hook

Post the verdict, tag the friend with a worse basement, and keep the roast moving.

Overall score

63

out of 100

Potential improvement: high. Emotional recovery: pending.

Choose your level of intervention

From quick burn to full glow-up.

One-time packages, not another subscription haunting your bank statement. Start free, then pay only when you want a deeper plan.

Quick Roast

One photo. One punchline. One useful fix.

Free

  • 1 room photo
  • Room score and quick roast
  • 1 improvement idea
  • Shareable result
Roast one free

Full Room Roast

A sharper critique for the room keeping you up at night.

$9.99

  • Multiple room photos
  • Detailed design critique
  • Prioritized recommendations
  • Polished share card
Roast this room

Home Glow-Up

A whole-home hit list, ordered by what matters most.

Best value

$29

  • Whole-home analysis
  • Room-by-room scores
  • Budget-aware priorities
  • Shopping suggestions
Plan my glow-up

AI Makeover

See how one space could change at three realistic budgets.

$79

  • Everything in Glow-Up
  • AI makeover concepts
  • $2K, $5K, and $15K directions
  • Actionable upgrade roadmap
See my makeover

Before you submit the evidence

Reasonable questions from nervous homeowners.

Your room is ready for judgment

Think your kitchen looks good?

There is one entertaining, slightly humbling way to find out—and your first photo is free.

    Roasted.ai | Roast Your House, Then Fix It